The life story of a psychology student
(my friend inspired me to do this parody, without even saying a word, or knowing about it! zzzzzinggggg She’s a mindfuck! She’s so great!)
Hey! Hello! I like to manipulate people. I’ts because I’m too lazy and want too much attention drawn on myself, that I like making people do stuff for me! When I make friends, I start telling them how great I am and then I make them do stuff, I give them the phone and tell them „PLEASE CALL MY TEACHER, TELL HER YOU’RE ME!”, „oh please, let’s go to MY favorite bar”, „OH PLEAAAASEEE HELP ME WITH THIS PAPER!!”
So I thought – wow, hey, I understand how people react, better than any other people! Why don’t I go study psychology?? Since everybody around me is such an ignorant and I’m such an intellectual, a reader, today’s wise man! All humans are useless! They should be dead! Except my friends…
So there I am in this university, and here I start reading on Freud and debating, because he’s so cool, with his sex is the root of all thoughts routine. At least I heard so! Oh and then we start reading some other stuff, that is so-not-Freud… They are so uncool… I can relate to the sex theory best!!!
So I get my psychology license and I meet this chick in a bar and I want to make her do something for me!
„How are you?”
„Fine. Just got a degree in psychology… And I’m already soooo sick of my patients… Because I don’t care…”
„Wow! You’re a therapist! You can read my mind and understand it too! I love you!!”
„Do you really believe that? Or is it… the fact that you love me is because I represent the archetype of your perfect mate, therefore, you love manipulative and egotistical people!”
„WOW!! OMG YOU FIGURED THAT OUT??? I love you soooo much for understanding me… I wanna marry you!!”
„Whatever… Gimme a sammich!”